On Saturday, I braved the snow and went to see Django Unchained. (Quick review- It’s Tarintino doing, in this order, westerns, The Help and Tarintino, go and see it, it’s ace.) Over the course of the film the lead character, Django, is transformed, or, as the film would put it, unchained. He goes from being one thing at the start of the film, to something totally different by the end of it. I found myself wondering if in this act of love and revenge (not a spoiler) Django, rather than discovering who he was, lost who he was. Can the things that we do lead to us losing ourselves?
And this got me thinking about humility. I wonder if when we fail to be humble, when we spend our whole time projecting this inflated image of ourselves to other people, do we begin to believe this, and as such, do we begin to lose who we are?
If this is true, humility is actually about being comfortable with who we are and being comfortable with who God has made us to be. When we can fully accept who we are as being ‘OK’ we don’t need to spend our whole time telling others about what we have done, about how influential we are, or about how brilliant we are.
It could be said that this week’s challenge had two parts. The first part was easy- perform an act of kindness. I get a real kick out of doing stuff like this, I love making people feel good, feeling blessed and finding ways to show that I love them. The keeping it anonymous part was difficult. I have an urge to tell people (in that sly humble-brag way) about what I’ve done, because somehow people might then believe that I’m a vaguely decent human. In fact, the real reason I want to tell people about what I’ve done this is so linked to this particular part of myself that I can’t tell you. But basically, I want affirmation, or, as The Smiths put it ‘I am human and I need to be loved. Just like everybody else does.’
But the great thing about this week was that I didn’t tell anyone, that I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone. That somehow through this act of humble giving I had the chance to feel secure in my skin. To bless someone purely to bless them and not to impress anyone. So week three- done. And I ruddy enjoyed it.