A final guest post on this week’s fasting challenge, sneaking in just at the end of another tricky God52 week. And in a burst of honesty, Matt Stewart wants to admit… he just couldn’t do it.
So in short I failed. Yep, failed… I attempted to fast and the temptation of eating got too much. I now feel weak and, well, a bit rubbish, even if my stomach feels satisfied! Ashamed, useless… you name it – I prayed and tried really hard, and I desperately wanted more of the spirit!
But let’s look this properly. What does this really make me? I would hate it if someone said this made me “less of a Christian”, especially as I’m meant to be an example for young people!! I really did get down about this but then I thought, who am I to judge that?, surely it can only be God!
So I prayed, basically just saying sorry. Then I got reminded of the way He works! Wow! He still loves me, just like He loves everyone else! What I feel He was telling me is that it was good that I attempted it – just like the other things this journey on God52 have been already.
I attempted the fasting to get closer to God and you know what, I have got closer to Him! Doing this reminded me that Jesus was telling us to live our lives by this standard, by fasting, but he was saying it to imperfect people like you & me!
Jesus told us to do these things to get closer to God, but its not always the success that gets you there. I have Cerebral Palsy; it makes me who I am. I have to try that bit harder sometimes to get where I want to go and on many occasions I have failed the first step but that’s given me a far better understanding of the second… (sometimes I mean that very literally!!)
One of my favourite phrases is “it’s not always about the destination but the journey you go on to get there” which for me sums up this whole experience of joining with you guys on God52. Im really looking forward to seeing what I learn about myself and God throughout the next 48 weeks!
Matt Stewart is a 20 year old youth worker at Cornerstone URC in Hythe, just outside Southampton. He’s currently also at Moorlands College studying for a youth work degree and blogs at http://mattstew92.blogspot.co.uk Follow him on Twitter @CHURC_SYW
God 52 
I love this post, thanks for sharing your experience. Mine was different. Oh I fasted and everything, and considered 23 1/2 hours to pass as a day so I could eat with the family later, and admittedly felt a little pleased with myself for managing it. (Eating loads the day before may have helped, ugh!) My thoughts were more directed on God and prayer, but to be brutally honest, I didn’t actually pray that much. I think it’s linked to the fact that breakfast and lunch are not necessarily sit down affairs for me, more on the go, or grabbing something to eat at my desk (I know, that’s been in the news lately, as a deplorable thing to do!)
What I’m saying, is that I’ve now seen how fasting (and praying, and most other faith things we do) are ultimately matters of the heart. My fasting on Monday was probably a bit Pharisaical (though I managed not to moan or boast about it), in that too much focus was on me and what I could achieve (“Yes, I can do this!”, as opposed to “God I’m going to give you more of myself today to pray and listen more). I somehow still busied myself quite a bit and didn’t really dig deep into God.
So Matt, thanks for your humility and for your post. I’m convinced that God is totally delighted in you, for your heart was fully in the right place. I’m challenged to seek God with my whole heart as a result.